The Bounty Hunter

The year is 2148 and students in a film history class are studying a long-dead movie genre that even their parents and grandparents were too young to see in the cinematic story spheres (These replaced movie theatres in 2036). They are told that a century and a half ago people used to pay good money to see this type of cinematic storytelling. But in the early parts of the 21st century, filmmakers eventually murdered this genre, mangling the stories so badly that eventually people stopped going to see them altogether.

“What was this genre called?” one inquisitive student asks aloud.

“They called it the Romantic Comedy,” the instructor offers. “There was a time when these were some of the most finely crafted stories people could see on the screen. Woody Allen paved the way for the genre with Annie Hall. Later more traditional offerings would take the form of When Harry Met Sally, Four Weddings & A Funeral, and Notting Hill. But today we’re going to look at one example of the kind of dreck that killed the genre for good. This type of movie was neither romantic nor funny and seemed basically pointless. Today we’ll be looking at The Bounty Hunter from the year 2010.”

I’ll be honest. I’m not certain if this dystopian future is my biggest fear or greatest wish. But if film historians ever do look back at what killed the romantic comedy, I’m sure they would have a field day with the Bounty Hunter. A movie that seems to be put together by people who have no idea what makes these types of movies great. Director Andy Tennant’s previous credits include (Fool’s Gold, Hitch, Sweet Home Alabama, and Fools Rush In) Perhaps he is on a one man mission to kill the genre by pumping out crappy movies. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.

Unless you’ve been in a post-Olympics coma for the last three weeks, you know that the movie is about a bounty hunter named Milo (Gerard Butler) who has to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife Nicole (Jennifer Aniston) and bring her to jail. Nicole is a reporter who has stumbled upon a suicide that doesn’t add up and she is being pursued by the bad guys who want to silence her for good. This is a decent comedic premise on which you could hang some funny set pieces and solid character development. This movie however boasts none of that.

I don’t think there is one genuine laugh in this entire film. You might laugh at Nicole punching Milo in his junk only to have him chase her down and tackle her in a field. But even if you do, they burn through this nugget in the first 17 seconds of the movie. Almost like a skilled 45’s partner who knows to throw out his only trump early when his partner has taken the bid. You’re basically saying “this is all I got, you’re on your own from here on out.” There are the ubiquitous scenes of Nicole getting away and then getting caught again but there aren’t any real laughs in there.

But I could forgive this movie if it were merely unfunny. It’s biggest sin however is making us sit through a long and torturous romantic subplot which features two people who you don’t care if they get together or not. Seriously, how hard is it to get the audience to root for the ex-lovers to get back together? I’m not sure if they were able to clear this bar. I think they were better off divorced. Not because I think they can’t possibly get along, but rather because I can’t see one reason why they should be together.

Our futuristic film history professor will correctly inform his class that when these genres work, it boasts two people who are destined to be together and are thrown into a wild adventure from which they emerge as better people and overcome those flaws that were keeping them apart. By acquiring the tools to overcome their dire situation, they also acquire the tools to overcome the obstacles in their personal life. In this movie, I don’t know exactly why they got married in the first place and what is now keeping them apart. Apparently he is stubborn and she works a lot. Not really a huge mountain to overcome.

And yet this movie all but abandon’s the jeopardy of being pursued by the bad guys for a huge chunk in the middle as we stay with Milo and Nicole as they “rediscover themselves” as a couple. Just when it seems they are going to spend a romantic night together, there is a misunderstanding over an overheard phone call and the tensions are ratcheted back up. Once again our film studies class will learn that the misunderstanding over an overheard conversation is a device that serves as a sure giveaway you are watching a bad movie.

The climatic scene involving a showdown with the bad guys is underwhelming and frought with tired clichés. Again, we don’t really care what happens at the end. Then there is the question of whether or not Milo will turn Nicole in to the police. Here the filmmakers believe they are being fresh and cute with how they resolve this. I would agree with this is “cute” if "cute" can serve as a synonym for “nauseating”.

Kevin Smith recently tweeted that he really didn’t understand the movie industry until his recent experience with Cop Out. He was basically saying that studios don’t really care about the artistic merits of any particular film as long as they meet a certain box office revenue target for its given budget. Make the target, boast a successful film. This is the only rationale I can see for allowing this movie to be filmed and released. Maybe the star power of Butler and Aniston can turn this into a profitable movie. Because God knows they couldn’t make it a good one.

But don’t take my word for it. Wait for the verdict of a film studies class 138 years from now.